malcoln rodgers takes some time off of school to finally face his fears and push himself to the limits that he knows he must go beyond. he has trained his mind and proven to himself that he can maintain integrity in any situation, so now he no longer fears the loss of ego he anticipates if he has a transcendant experience. esplanade! is a journal in poetry, philosophy and prose that takes the reader up to and into the transcendant experience of malcoln rodgers. in these pages are the experience of malcoln's enlightenment and then his journal of how his mind and life have been altered forever. sometimes you go to places that you never really come back from.' esplanade! ' is one such journey

excerpt from, ' the transcendent experience '

. . . the highest form of enlightened being doesn't move within the circle of clever logical expression, but rather, remains motionless within the realm of transcendence. what is said, isn't really said, rather the liberating possibility of all things are espoused or hinted at. you will not only run out of questions before the answers are exhausted, but you may only ask a single question before the transcendent expression to satisfy every other question you could possibly imagine is given in the first response. your mind will be stopped dead in it's tracks. this type of being is so in tune, so fully in contact and expressive of the realm of the true possibility of the moment, that something greater than answers are given. it looks like an answer, it sounds like an answer, but in actuality, the revelation of the total transcendent experience is given in such a timely, precise, profound clarity, that all within listening distance are made aware of the blatant ever presence of transcendence that lurks sublimely throughout all moments and expressions

when the transcendent experience, is experienced, there are no more questions. one no longer ask, for the fully enlightened being has allowed one access to the very midst of the individual's transcendent experience, where there is only revelation beyond the ability to conceptualize questioning. the self-fulfilling answer of the moment of the every evolving now, where the only answer is the same continual self-originating reaffirmation. the becoming of totality has broken through the ego-based anticipatory functionality to reside within the resting point of all desire. . .

...the beauty began to unfold in its infinite beauty
and it was fully understandable
and the freedom of how it could all go along without me and always be the same
tomorrow it would only take a glance, a wink, a nod, to understand all that was not understandable before
now the indulgence was effortless
the confusion filled my head as i realized that the journey was not complete
i had enjoyed the beauty of the thought and now i had to let it take over step aside and let it break free from ego
and then, plainly, i saw myself in everyone i had known
as the basis of all relation

i saw the foolishness of neccessity
and the plainness of how it had all fit in
i thought, " i need a pen! "
but before i could write
it occurred to me,
what would i write? (that i did not already know. . . )
who would i write it to? (that i wasn't already. . . )
what would i write it on? (that was not a piece of me. . .)
i laughed at the absurdity

and then the affirmations tumbled. . .

it was the thought that i wanted
it was the thought that i needed
it was the thought that i had sought/seeked
as it seeded
and repeated
and deleted
an incompleted mind. . .

and much blossoming consequentialed. . .

all of the messages i had written before were merely footnotes, breadcrumbs,
to lead me to the contemplation of the thought i was now having

there was nothing more to build on,
no longer a need for markers. . .

and this realization allowed the experience to touch upon this world in a memorialized completeness